All Dressed Up

Jackson went to church for the first time this past Sunday. He's got some really cute dressier clothes--it's just too bad none of them fit him yet! I was so glad this one little outfit fit just right. Maybe by next week he'll have grown enough for another one!

We Tried!

Saturday I did my best to get a good shot of Clayton and Jackson on their first holiday together. I should have known it wouldn't necessarily go as planned! It's always a trick getting Clayton's picture when he's out of his chair anyway, and then you add holding Jackson into the equation and you never know what's going to happen. The other thing that was really killing the whole deal was that Clayton's friends were riding their four wheeler by as we tried to get the pictures. He was TOTALLY distracted by that! So here is what we got, even if they aren't the perfect pictures . . .

Good, but no smile and Daddy's in the picture:

Daddy's still in the picture:

Watching the four wheeler, with Daddy's arm still hanging around:

Smiles--but not for the camera, Jackson looking really worried:

Clayton's smile is perfect, but he's blocking the view of Jackson:

Big brother, checking on the little one:

You guessed it, the four wheeler is coming back by (not to mention Jackson's still pretty worried about the whole thing!)

In fact, Jackson was totally stressed out by the whole ordeal:

He's a Natural

"I WANNA HOLD JACKSON!" This is what we hear from Clayton often these days. He is making the best big brother--he showers Jackson with kisses and has even learned to "burp" him. :) We were worried he would get more than a little jealous, so I'm proud and glad that he's welcomed Jackson with open arms! (Even if Jackson gets that worried and nervous look on his face when we hand him over to Clayton!)

It's Just Too Darn Hot

Only activities worth doing: sitting in the air conditioning or sitting in the pool!

Shout Out

Waving to all his peeps!!!!

Look What Clayton Got!

We've been waiting for this bike for over a month!! It didn't take long for Clayton to figure out how to do it on his own!

(Excuse his bed head--he had just gotten up from his nap when Brian got it put together!)

Three Weeks Tommorrow

Wow! On one hand it seems like just yesterday that Jackson was born and on the other it seems like he's always been here! He is doing great--breastfeeding issues are behind us and he got an A+ on his weight check last week. I'm so glad I was able to tough it out and make it past the miserable parts of breastfeeding (it seems "they" always talk about how natural the whole process is, but it is DEFINITELY the combination of both art and science with a whole lot of teamwork thrown in!).

Jackson got his first bath in the actual bathtub this morning. He was one wiggly little guy! It's definitely going to take two people on guard for a little while to bathe him. I don't remember that with Clayton and he was just as little when he came home . . . I was just glad Jackson didn't cry--he seemed to be trying to figure things out the whole time. He saved his crying for once he was out and I was getting him dressed!

I'm still staying close to home (mainly because I'm not driving yet), but we did venture out Friday night so that Clayton could ride GoKarts. We weren't there that long, but I felt like I had been gone all day by the time we got back! It's amazing how just a little bit of activity can wear you out when you are getting over surgery. I honestly think I pushed to hard the first week because I slowed waaaaay down last week. Decided lots of things could wait while I slept with the baby!

I Guess He's Comfortable

But sleeping with your feet up like that for two hours just doesn't seem like it'd be comfy to me!

Yes, I Still Scrapbook

Did all of these before the baby came:

Journaling: Wheelchair. Feeding pump pole. Oxygen tanks. It doesn't really matter because Daddy and I will do all things possible to get you in the middle of the action. (Backyard--helping Daddy, June 2008)

And I make cards too!

He's a Keeper

Clayton must have decided that Jackson was in The Cool Kids Club because last night he wanted to take him for a ride in his chair. This is BIG--no one gets to sit or ride in the chair, so it's definitely brotherly love!

New Roles

While I was pregnant, we got a small taste of the new roles we would each play in the new family. I was forced to let go of some of the control of Clayton's care and Brian and Clayton became best buds with all the time they were now spending together. (Not a bad thing, but I couldn't help but wince as he slowly started choosing Daddy over me). And now that Jackson is here, the roles are even more defined. For the most part, Momma takes care of Jackson while Daddy tends to Clayton. And Clayton is learning to "help" be a big brother and learning to share his Momma/Daddy time with Jackson.

The only thing I hated about having a c-section--I can't do ANYTHING with Clayton because almost every activity involves lifting him in some manner. Can't even change his diaper without help. I'm simply not used to being this dependent on others, even if those people are Clayton's own Dad and grandparents! I admit it: it's all bittersweet. Clayton really doesn't care much about spending time with Momma anymore (I think he's on strike since I'm with Jackson constantly!) and I can't even talk him into sitting in my lap. As a result, I'm having Clayton withdrawals! Having Jackson makes me love Clayton that much more and I so wish he would let me show him more these days, but he is mainly in to riding in Daddy's truck, going to Granny and Pop's, and spending time with my friend Rhonda. But on the other hand, I'm spending 95% of my time with our new little bundle of joy. I'm building a new close, cuddly relationship that can only happen between a mother and son. I suppose as they both grow the balancing act will become easier, but right now it seems so, so different from "the old days." I used to be consumed with Clayton's care in both thought and action. Nowadays, I have to just think and let someone else do the actions. Meanwhile, I get the privilege of spoiling this new, sweet baby God has blessed us with!!

Settling In

Born Hungry

So if you remember this post, then you remember how important breastfeeding was going to be for me. I was determined to make it work no matter what--and I guess little Jackson decided he would test me to the limit to see just how serious I was about following through with my plan. He literally came out of the womb hungry. Everyone reported that while they worked on him in the nursery, all he did was gnaw on his hands and anything else that passed by his mouth. So when he tried breastfeeding for the first time I was excited to see he was an eager eater and had no problems latching on. I had been prepared for us to need time to learn to work as a team, but he took to it first thing. Only problem was he was way too eager!! By the next day, I couldn't bear the pain because he had done so much damage. And to put it bluntly, the lactation consultant called him a "friggin' barracuda!" (He gets that from his Daddy's side of the family). LOL!

I was doing my best to avoid a bottle until at least a couple of weeks from now, so we went home doing finger feeds (attached a tube to my finger and pushed colostrum and formula through a syringe as he sucked on my finger). That in itself was working, but a little cumbersome to say the least--felt like I was back to feeding Clayton since I was using the exact same syringes and everything we use with him! I continued to pump and it was Saturday night when I had the meltdown. I was pumping bloody milk and that's never good (anybody thinking TMI??). So I decided to take a break from even pumping and call the hospital the next day. And wouldn't you know, my milk came in that night. I was miserable by Sunday morning and of course that's the one day the lactation consultant doesn't work at the hospital. So I had to wait until Monday morning to actually talk to an "expert" and get some direction on where to go from there. Meanwhile, I was having a nervous breakdown about the whole thing. How long could I go without pumping/nursing and my milk still stick around? How long does it take before mastitis sets in? I was so frustrated because last time I had all this milk and my babies couldn't drink it, and now I have a willing baby and no way to get the milk to him! Talk about irony! But my visit with the lactation consultant Monday went really well, and since I had let my body rest for over 24 hours, when Jackson actually nursed again the pain was at least bearable. My confidence boosted, we came home with a new plan of pumping/nursing/supplementing with formula that will hopefully help the situation work itself out. My milk production is on the low side since I had such a rocky start, but I'm hoping with diligent pumping I can get it back up to enough to satisfy my baby. But in the meantime, it seems that no matter what/how much I feed the little guy, he still wants more! It's just hard to see the constant chewing on his hands and blankets and not wonder where all this milk is going I'm giving him!

Making His Way

I was originally supposed to report to the hospital last Wednesday morning at 5:00 am. And when they called Tuesday night to tell me to wait until they called me due to overcrowding in Labor and Delivery, I started getting nervous. But a nurse did call about 7:00 am and we made our way to the hospital, not even really expecting a room since they had so many babies coming. But to our surprise we were led to our room right after check-in and the action began.

The doctor started me on pitocin and broke my water soon after I arrived. All seemed to be going well and my contractions slowly started getting stronger. Around noon, the doctor showed up because of some small signs of distress the baby was showing during contractions. Nothing serious she said, just enough to make her curious. She ended up attaching a monitor directly to his head to keep a close eye on him. And from then on, it was downhill. Jackson wasn't a big fan of contractions, and he sure didn't like a probe on his head! They ended up trying to replace my water (yes, there is such a procedure) in order to give the baby some floating room if he was pressing down on his cord. And even with that and with the pitocin turned off, Jackson continued to show signs of stress during the weaker contractions that I was having on my own. All of this hub-bub happened really fast and I got REALLY emotional even faster. The doctor had already said she wasn't going to tolerate much from me and the baby before she suggested a c-section, and after just that little bit of a scare, Brian and I were all on board for a section delivery. I just couldn't bear anything going wrong, so off we went to the operating room.

And as it turns out, the decision was a great one--little Jackson had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice and as he moved down the birth canal, things would have just gotten worse. I'm so glad we didn't wait until it was a complete emergency!

Jackson cried almost immediately and after hearing that cry, I was an absolute wreck!! I was laying on the operating table sobbing--it was such a blessing to hear my baby cry since I hadn't had that pleasure when the twins were born. I cried so much the doctor had to get on to me since she was busy trying to collect cord blood--I was shaking the whole table!!! When I realized I might mess up the cord blood banking, I sucked it up and did my best to keep the crying in check, but this momma was just so overwhelmed it was a hard feat to say the least!!!

And as far as my fears of recovery after another c-section, I have to say that this one has been MUCH, MUCH easier on me than the first. I'm still not my old self of course, but I'm getting around much easier than I thought I would be--the only bad part is I can't have ANYTHING to do with lifting Clayton and I hate it. Hopefully he won't remember and hold it against me!!

Jackson is perfect in every way. I'm so thankful God let us experience "normal" childbirth and blessed us with all these typical experiences that some might take for granted. Life is already so different, I can't wait to enjoy all the happiness this little guy is going to bring us!

Welcome Baby!!

Baby Boy #3, Jackson Elliot

6 lbs, 10 oz. 18 1/2 inches long

The last few days for our family (in pictures):

And yes, I am biased, but he is absolutely beautiful!! And I am marveling once again at the enormity of love you can feel for your child the moment you lay eyes on them--such a miracle of life this little boy is!!!

A Song from Clayton

Last night we sat on the porch and listened to Brian play the guitar. And even though it was dark, I thought I'd record a little bit of Clayton singing. So even though you can't see him, you can hear his sweet voice. These days his songs are usually about riding in the truck or "praising the God." I guess he was in a praising mood last night!

38 Weeks

The end is in sight and I can't believe we've made it this far! My entire body is feeling the pregnancy these days--you know the joke about old people? The one where "I'm so old when I bend down to pick something up I think 'is there anything else I can do while I'm down here?'" That's me these days! Bending over can be quite the chore! My feet, ankles, and hands are swelling like crazy. They were better in the mornings after resting all night, but even now they are swollen in the mornings. My doctor's appointment was yesterday and I'm still 1 centimeter dilated, but the baby is definitely moving down. WOW. WOW. WOW. Soon we're going to have another little boy to dote on around here . . . I can't wait to see what he looks like and how his little personality develops!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today, I celebrate my 33rd birthday. And since my mom and dad always share bits and pieces of my birth story with me each year on this day, I thought it only appropriate to have my mom document the entire story as my guest blogger. Hope you all enjoy reading how I entered the world!

I always laugh out loud when I hear someone say “a pregnant woman just has a certain glow about her.” I’m indeed happy for the women who emit such an aura, but when I was near term with you, I was tipping the scales at about 220 pounds, battling toxemia and swelling by the day. I guess one might say I had a certain glow about me, all right! Let’s see…as I remember, I didn’t see my ankles or realize they were even attached to my legs from about my 6th month on (and yes, we counted months back then, not weeks). There wasn’t even a cankle present---(can kle`: when the calves and ankles become one and aren’t separate in nature). Anyway, it had been a while since I could wear shoes. For several weeks, I was on bed rest at home and then hospitalized to try to reduce the effects of the edema and high blood pressure with stronger medication and to be more closely monitored. The first night in the hospital I lost 8 pounds---it felt like 28! After an ultra-sound revealed that I would have to have a C-section due to the size of my pelvis, it was decided that I would be discharged for the weekend (it was Friday before the Memorial Day holiday) and return on Monday for the surgery and birth. About this time, I begin to think: Geez---just how big is this baby going to be? Ballooning weight gain and not big enough to deliver? Yikes! Will the room we have prepared for our baby be adequate?

With these things to ponder, Dad and I left the hospital in our cool 1971 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme and headed for Grandmother and Grandad’s house to spend the weekend. On the way there, as we were driving through a residential neighborhood, a little boy on a bicycle suddenly darted out in front of us and we hit him. Because these were the times of non-seat belt use, I was slammed into the dash from the impact. I wasn’t injured, just a little stunned at the jolt. After Dad checked out the little boy, found that he was okay and walked him to his house (where his Mother promptly spanked him), we continued on our way.
After getting settled in at the house, a few hours passed before I realized my water had broken and labor was beginning. Dad believes that the little incident with the boy on the bicycle was a contributing factor to cause the early labor---your due date was still 2 weeks away. We loaded up and went to the hospital and very quickly preparations were made for an emergency C-section. Now here is where I get a little fuzzy---I regret that anesthesia has such effects on me…but I know that at 8:45 pm on the evening of May 28th, 1976, the year of the bi-centennial, when The Eagles sang “Take it to the Limit” for the first time and on the day Gerald Ford, as president of our country was signing a nuclear agreement with Leonard Brezhnev from Russia, a beautiful baby girl was born to your Mom and Dad. The first grandchild for Grandmother and Grandad and the first granddaughter to sashay among four grandsons of Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw. I actually slept through your arrival, but I recall that as I was being wheeled from the operating room a sweet voice whispered to me that I had a baby girl and asked if I wanted to see her. Uh- huh. And I did see you---the next day. You were just like I had imagined, except that you weren’t near the size I had expected---a tiny 5 pounds 7 ounces (just how little is that pelvis?), with a head of black hair---brushed to the middle in the cutest curl! Those nurses in the hospital nursery must have a lot of fun with hair styles and getting the kids dressed up for Mom. My doctor confided to us later that when I got to the O.R. that my blood pressure had really shot up to a more dangerous level and he had like 2 minutes to make a quick surgical incision (from the navel down---what’s that---no more bikinis with a newly discovered small pelvis?) and get you out. He told me his hands were shaking and he was very nervous. I have a crooked scar to prove it. Neither Dad nor I ever asked him what the 2 minute warning was about---some things you just don’t want to know.
Now, 33 years later and every year on this day we will celebrate this special day when you came into our world---our first child, our only daughter, our joy and our delight that we have been blessed with beyond measure. Happy Birthday, dear daughter!

(As a footnote to this, and as we await the birth of Baby C, you might care to know that while I was pregnant with your brother, I was afraid and anxious because I thought it would be impossible for parents to love another child as much as we loved you…I was wrong.)

I ♥ Faces: Silhouettes

This week's theme at http://www.iheartfaces.com/ is Silhouettes. I knew immediately what picture I would take, but I wasn't confident I could pull it off--and while it's not museum quality, this picture still turned out sweet to me. Clayton is obsessed with watching for Daddy at the window (or whoever else happens to be coming by for that matter!). As soon as he gets home from school, he starts begging to sit by the window--he doesn't care how long it takes for Daddy to get home, he wants to be watching when the truck pulls in. And for entertainment, as soon as he gets to the window I hear "I NEED MY MUSIC!" So the iTunes come on and he just sits, sings, and watches all that's going on outside! (Oh, and if I give him the choice of actually sitting outside and watching from the porch, he'd rather sit at the window!!)

There are more great entries at I ♥ Faces, so go over and check them out!

He Always Thinks of Something

If there's one thing Brian's never short on, it's ideas. He seems to be the king of improvising. And this weekend was no exception. Clayton was watching him do yardwork and since the regular umbrella wasn't working to keep Clayton in the shade, Brian brought out the beach umbrella and planted it in the landscaping. Looked goofy, but it worked! I'm usually thinking inside the box on these things, so I have to laugh--I would have probably just put Clayton back on the porch, but I think Brian secretly looks for reason to build or remake something, and this was another opportunity to do just that!