I went to Target today. Among other things, I wanted to get Jackson a pair of shoes. First pair I've bought him. You wouldn't think the experience would be emotional, and even though I wasn't expecting it, my eyes did get teary. For a long time, Clayton didn't even need shoes. Why buy shoes if you are in the hospital for the first six months of your life? Why buy shoes if you never actually go anywhere once you live at home? And when he finally did get shoes, they were the ones that fit over his dAFO's which are a 10+ on the ugly scale. He wore these forever until I finally figured out that New Balance wide widths would also fit over the braces. But even then it took a lot of effort to actually get those shoes on. And when we buy "regular" shoes for him to wear without his braces, it's a struggle to find the perfect pair. With his high muscle tone, it's almost impossible to get a shoe on his left foot that is the actual right size. We have to buy larger sizes even then just so we can get both feet in the shoes. And sandals won't hardly stay on at all--the right foot sometimes, but that left foot just can't relax enough for the shoe to sit right on his foot. So today when I decided to try a pair on Jackson and it slipped right into place, it was so WEIRD! I couldn't help but think "so this is how everyone else does it . . ." Which, by the way, I've thought many times lately. So many things that are considered "normal" to everyone else are just foreign to us. And I'm not talking about huge things, just the little everyday occurrences like buying a pair of shoes.
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Yeah... I have found it is the little things that really surprise me. Audrey already, at 3 months, has a better sense of balance than Fletcher. When I hold her on my hip and lean her back she tries to keep her head upright, instead of flinging into extension like Fletch did/does. So weird.
I wonder about this stuff myself. Hubby and I are talking about baby number two and it just makes me wonder--what will that be like?
hugs ashley! i just realized how very much i take for granted. we've had a rough few mornings at my house but you just put life back into perspective for me - thank you! love you!
I have been shoe shopping for my daughter lately with disatrous results. She has high tone and very chubby feet. Trying to find wide shoes for Toddlers is no easy task. And I cannot bring myself to spend insane amounts on shoes when she doesn't walk. Is that bad? Maybe I need an attitude adjustment on that one...
I cannot even imagine what it would be like to just go into a store and slip a shoe on my child's foot. We would love to have #2 but are waiting on God's timing on that. I always wonder what it would be like to have a typical child after having one with special needs. Seeing a child do things so easily that Emily struggles to do would be really bizarre.
I've only clicked on your blog (via Nicole at chaotic ark) a time or two and every time I'm touched.
Thank you for your writing. And pictures. (The shoe photo is wonderful!!)
Our little guy wears AFO's and has low tone on his left side. I've lingered in the kid's shoe aisles way too long wanting the cutesy stuff I know he won't/can't wear. What a wonder it would be to see him in flip flops or even cute sandals. Anything without socks.
Another post you had was on your first day/days of homeschooling. I plan to homeschool and seeing you and your son outside enjoying the day and enjoying learning together has made me even more determined.
Thank you.
{hugs}
Your posts always touch me.
It's so funny you posted about shoes--I had a shoe oriented reality check the other day. I enjoyed buying shoes for my "normal" kids (especially little girl shoes) but with Nathan, it was a whole new experience. I found myself a bit frustrated. I mean, Sheesh! all I wanted to do was keep his tootsies a bit warmer on our walk and actually complete the getting dressed thing. I couldn't fit the foot with the curled toes into any shoe properly and the other foot's high tone makes it practically impossible to keep the shoe on. Obviously you know the story. I'm in new territory...But Nate gets his first AFO's next week and now I know about New Balance.
hugs to you and clayton! sweet little shoes! BTW I called you today
I Have the opposite situation in that my special needs child is my second (14 years later). And I always ask myself, "was it this hard with L or am I just getting old?" I definitely wish I appreciated how "easy" my first child was back then and not 14 years later.
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