Monday, May 08, 2006


Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I'm an addict. I've been this way my whole life, but it wasn't until my adult years that I realized that I really do have an "addictive" personality. It seems that I can never do anything half-way. Once I start something, I have to be the best at it. This trait is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that I'm really good at several things, a curse in that I'm hard pressed to try anything new simply because I'm not already good at it. Makes no sense, I know. As I think back, there are plenty of times the same scenario played out in my life.

Cheerleading: As a little girl, I played like a cheerleader and did little girl cheers and motions. But when it came time to actually try out for cheerleading in junior high, I didn't sign up. I was totally afraid to because I "wasn't good at it." It took a last minute phone call from my parents to the sponsor to get me signed up for the pep squad. I got my uniform and ran with it. Cheerleading became an obsession for me--I ran around all the time doing motions and high kicks. I eventually served as captain of the squad for two years and was on an all-star competitive squad. I just couldn't be average--I had to be the best.

Water skiiing: I can't remember how old I was when my parents bought a boat, but I do remember that I quickly became proficient on two skis. My family nagged and nagged me to try out the slalom ski, but I wouldn't for the longest time. Again, I "wasn't good at it." But finally, I took the plunge and learned how to slalom. And I quickly became very good. I never competed or anything simply because we didn't have the right boat or equipment, but I can definitley hold my own on a ski. The only problem now is that I'm so out of shape, I can barely get back in the boat after skiiing! But who knew that the girl who wouldn't try would become so good?

Singing: I come from a family that loves to sing. My mom's parents have always sung in their church choir, and my mom has a great alto voice. She plays the piano and I would always sing with her at home while she played. I always wanted to sing at church, but was too afraid. I literally did not want to sing unless I knew I would be good. I would just rather not sing unless I was going to knock their socks off. When we joined First Church, I decided to sing in the choir. I quickly became comfortable with the music and finally told the director I was ready for a solo. The song he gave me was a powerful worship chorus. When I sang for the first time, my family was there and they were floored. They couldn't believe I had been holding back for so long! I am now an important part of the praise team and I've even put a couple of songs on a CD. Again, this is one of those things that I didn't want to do unless I could be the best.

And now scrapbooking: A couple of my close friends have been scrapbooking for a few years. They tried to talk me into it, but I just couldn't see it. I knew that once I started I would be spending LOADS of money on this hobby. Holly did a scrapbook for me with Shawn's pictures and that sparked my interest. It wasn't until Clayton was home and relatively well that I decided to try scrapbooking. And of course, being the loner that I am, I didn't ask for help. I just started researching on the internet and went off to the store by myself. I did my first page and was hooked. I immediately had to go buy more supplies to do more pages. (I was so right about the spending money part). I'm completely obsessed with scrapbooking and like all my other activities, I want to be the best. Why do average pages when you can do AWESOME pages?! I just hope that someday I'll be able to create "awesome" pages on a regular basis. The great thing about scrapbooking is the neverending range of ideas and things to try on your pages. You've always got your next page to do something new on.

I've got other addictions--a lot of them just simply for comfort reasons. Diet Coke and Jif peanut butter, to name a couple. Some of my past addictions on TV have been Law and Order and Iron Chef. I still watch them for "comfort," but I think I've got every episode memorized. I keep CourtTV on most of the day--can't go a day without checking in on the latest court case.

I guess I've learned to live with these addictions. It doesn't really bother me, but Brian becomes a little annoyed now and then. After all, he's the one who has to foot the bill for all the scrapbooking supplies. But he is glad that I've found something to be passionate about. For so long after Clayton came home, I was passionate about nothing. Scrapbooking has definitely helped me heal in so many ways and it's helped to give my life a little bit of a spark that it was missing.


Kelli said...

i know just what you mean, except I never tried anything...thanks for inspiring me today girl...I think I'll go create :)

Oscar T. Grouch said...

Addictive or just over achiever? I have always precribed to the over achiever . Somehow it just sounds better. You are awesome for having scrapped less than 3 years.

Christy said...

love this!! I totally relate. It's great to learn so much more about you just from one days blog!


Nancyroo said...

I know what you mean! I spend entirely too much time and money scrapping! But, I love it, though!