Preschool Woes

I'll try to keep this post to the short version of this story, but I'm not sure if it's possible. During the first week of Clayton's school, I saw little things that I didn't like and instead of barking more orders at the teachers (I was already giving directions constantly), I decided to show them what Clayton could do. Brian had him sit in the classroom chair, we both let him stand and "cook" at the play kitchen, we put him on the floor with the other kids, and I even put him on the tricycle outside to show them how cool he thought that was. When I asked the teacher on Thursday if they had let him sit in the chair yet, she said no. And I knew they weren't taking him out of his chair outside because that's when I come to pick him up. I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt since I was a teacher and I know it's hard to be everywhere all the time, but when I showed up last Monday during inside recess and he was literally sitting all alone while everyone else played and visited, I LOST IT! He immediately started crying when he saw me and it was all I could do to get out of there without boo-hooing all over the teachers. I was so emotional I couldn't even talk to them about it. And by the time I got to the front desk, I was sobbing. The receptionist asked if I was alright, and of course I said no!!!! Then Clayton started crying with me! I told her my concerns and she told me definitely talk to the director about it. So the next morning I met with the director and I even got her crying by the end of the meeting! She basically told me the teachers were scared they would hurt him or one of the other kids would hurt him. These two particular teachers haven't had a child this medically involved in their classroom, so they were a little nervous. So we came up with some solutions: therapists doing therapy in the classroom showing them his capabilities, assigning another student as a "helper," having another aid come in more often, and some other little things. Friday was the first day they got him more involved and it was soooo much better. He didn't want to leave when I came to pick him up and he even laid down on his cot for about 20 minutes during naptime (he laid down without me!!!!)!! I just hope it continues to get better--he cried and screamed when I left him this morning, but I'm hoping he's all smiles when I pick him up. Maybe his therapists helped him have a good day.

I'm just frustrated beyond belief. I want him to have as normal a life as possible, but he can't do that without help. And as his parents, we are willing to break our backs to help him try any experience. But I wanted him to gain some type of independence from us. But no one else is going to bend over backwards to haul him around the playground or hold him all day long when they have a classroom full of kids. His school is making changes, and I'm thinking with time they will work. Definitely as he gets used to the routine. But I don't see the public schools being this accomodating and eager to please--homeschooling never looked so good . . .