Six years ago today, Brian's mom passed away after a long fight with lung cancer. Today the memory is especially strong simply because she died on a Tuesday. I've been reflecting on the events of that day--I remember Brian calling me at work--he was devastated. Thankfully, I was able to leave and immediately started making plans to get to Florida. Of course that "bereavement fare" that the airlines talk about is such a crock. It cost us over $400 a piece to fly that trip. Not much of a discount if you ask me. At any rate, the anniversary of her death is always weird simply because it is always the week before Mother's Day. Brian still has the gift he bought her for Mother's Day that year. I don't think either one of us will ever be able to get rid of it. It's just weird. She was only 45. That's only 15 years older than I am now! Will I have done everything I wanted to do in just 15 more years? Seems like such a short amount of time for a life these days. When she was sick, I never dreamed that I would miss her once she was gone. Yes, we got along, but we weren't the best of friends by any means. But now that she is gone, Brian's life has changed tremendously. I miss her for his sake mostly. And for Clayton's sake definitely. I wish Clayton could have known her because she would have loved him to death. I saw the way she loved her other grandkids and they were her world. I wish Clayton could have known that love as well. My mom is his bestest friend, but it wouldn't have hurt a bit for him to have known his other Granny. And because of her death, my father-in-law has remarried and had another child who is Clayton's age. Clayton won't even really get to have a semi-close relationship with him either simply because he's definitely got his hands full with his new little family. I'm not really sad today, just mainly wondering why God works the way he does. Seems like I spend half my time doing that! (Like it ever helps!!!)
4 comments:
I thinking knowing that God does work they way he does, is all that we can trust in, because without that, there is no hope, no hope in good, no hope that this world will be better, that because of deaths we have amazing connections with people that take place, families are stronger, marriages are better, people remember the importance of relationships, that God designed us that way...I think that without God all of that is so hard to see. I don't know why good people are taken, when we think we know better...LOL I'm sure God's plan is far better then that we could ever think of for ourselves.
I spend most of my time pondering that same question and never know the answer either.
I had forgotten just how much Brian looks like his mother.
Phillip
We all find ourselves pondering the same questions at some time or another. We lost my FIL 9 years ago and it's sad that my girls never got to know him (Dayna was 2.5 and Laura just a baby) We talk about him often and have photos around the place and I think that has helped. The girls often refer to funny little things we've said about pa - it's almost as if they are their memories IYKWIM.
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