Monday, August 28, 2006

My Forever Baby

Today marks the third anniversary of Shawn Phillip's death. When he was born, he was considered the healthier of the two boys. He moved around in the bed and a couple of times almost acted like he wanted to crawl right out of it. He even opened his right eye for me and Brian three days before he died. Maybe he was just saying a quick hello before he had to say goodbye. But darn that MRSA infection--his little immune system just couldn't handle it. I don't even really know what I want to say in this post. I want to honor him in such a wonderful and unique way, and all I can think to say is "darn that MRSA." ??? I don't know, in my mind, nothing will ever measure up. I just hope that he knows I love him and I miss seeing who he would have become. Even saying all this, it still seems absolutely unreal that my baby actually died. I wouldn't wish this hurt on my worst enemy.

18 comments:

Nancyroo said...

I'm so sorry, Ashley. ((Hugs))

Christy said...

hugs!!! Praying for you ash! I can't even imagine the heartache!

ck

Jes said...

(((((((hugs)))))) i don't even know what to say other than how my heart hurts just reading your post.... i'm praying for you guys today!!

LesleMora said...

hugs Ashley!

laurensmom said...

SENDING YOU LOADS OF HUGS! may God bless you! i know he has already

Angela said...

I can't imagine the pain of loosing a child. But one day you'll enter the gates of Heaven and Shawn will be there to help welcome you, fully restored! You guys are in our thoughts and prayers. The girls mention Clayton regularly in their night-time prayers.

BeckyS said...

So sorry :( Life really isnt fair sometimes... I cant imagine what you're going through

Christy said...

I am thinking of you tonight! HUGS to you and your family!

Tara said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain.

Jenna said...

Ashley, I am so sorry and can't imagine having to go through this pain. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

Kelli said...

((((Hugs))))) thinking of you today :)

Oscar T. Grouch said...

Ashley he is your forever baby.

Tanya said...

I can't imagine how hard it is for you on a daily basis....we love both you and Brian.

Anita said...

What a beautiful, heart-rending post. I too have an angel baby and although the pain of losing a sweet child never goes away entirely, try to take comfort in knowing that your precious little one is forever safe, never having to suffer again. Big, BIG hugs to you.

carrie*postma said...

oh Ashley. Big hugs to you.

Amy Chomas said...

Ashley, as I said before, you have to be one of the best mothers I know, and one of the strongest women. I'm a better person for getting to know you. Amy

Cassandra said...

Hugs Ashley. Peace to you knowing that Clayton has a special angel to help hin through!

nicole said...

OH Ashley I can't imagine what you have gone through. I don't really know what to say, but you have two precious, gorgeous sons... (HUGS)