God Works in Mysterious Ways

Background: I've never been able to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to Clayton. Why? We sang it at Shawn's funeral, and I've just never been able to make it through the whole thing without coming to tears. So I gave up singing it for Clayton a long time ago. He does know it because my mom sings it with him and one of his therapists sings it as well--I'm glad they've been able to teach it to him.

The rest of the story: Yesterday while I was giving Clayton his bath we had a quite moment and he started singing something. Took me a few seconds to figure out that he was singing "Jesus Loves Me!" I asked him and he smiled and kept singing. So I mustered up the courage to finish the song with him--I sang right along with the tears flowing. Isn't it amazing how God uses children to send his love right directly to us? It literally felt like I had been given a big ole' hug by Jesus himself. Definitely what I needed to make it through the day.

Thirty Minutes of Wonderful

For my baby, who went to Heaven four years ago today. Thank you, Lord for our short time with him. Journaling: It was easily the hardest night of my life. But in retrospect, I count the experience as a sweet blessing. I had been there as Shawn entered the world, and on this night and morning, it was a privilege to be there as he left us. How many other mothers have the opportunity to literally rock their baby into the arms of Jesus? My baby is lucky. He will never know the heartaches of this world. He will never struggle with the unknown effects of his early birth. He will always be innocent. He will always be perfect. For me, my time with him will be some of the very minutes that make my lifetime special.

I Think I'm Losing It

**I've forgotten to buckle Clayton in his wheelchair twice since the wreck

**I came in from Wal-Mart the other day and forgot to unload my car (which included a gallon of milk)--let the stuff sit out there for about 45 minutes before I realized I had never unloaded it!

**I was searching for the peanut butter yesterday and couldn't find it in the cabinet even though I knew we had a new jar--finally found it right next to the jelly in the refrigerator where I had put it the day before.

**I realized yesterday afternoon that I had only shaved one leg in the shower yesterday morning.

I'm not sure I should be allowed out alone, much less be allowed to take care of a child!!

First Name Basis

For a while now Clayton has been calling Brian by his first name. "Hi Brian." "Bye Brian." He interchanges Brian and Daddy when talking about him, but now he's decided he likes to call everyone by their first name! Pop gets called Phillip and Granny gets called Mar-wee. He seems to really like saying Mary, not sure why he's started this but I keep correcting him on it--POP AND GRANNY. He actually doesn't ever mention my name unless someone asks him to repeat it. I remember my niece went through a phase of calling my brother by his first name--maybe it's just something a lot of kids do?? And although I don't want him to get used to it, it is cute to hear him say our names--he's a smart little guy. :)

Let's Talk TV

So when Clayton came home from the hospital I got hooked on CourtTV. I don't sit and watch every minute, but I do keep it on for "company" throughout the day and kind of half listen for something really interesting to happen. And since I'm such a rut person, I've been a little upset with them for a while. First Kimberly Newsome left, then another anchor left and they changed up all the shows. Then Catherine Crier left. I started looking around and realized that it looks like the network was bought by Turner Broadcasting or something to that effect. Then Nancy Grace left a couple of months ago and they can't get anyone decent in her spot. And now they are advertising Star Jones' new show starting next week. Ugh. And the court coverage ends an hour earlier and I've been FORCED to turn it to Dr. Phil for lack of anything else on at 3:00. So I've become interested in his show against my will . . . . :) I've never been interested in those goofy shows that analyze someone's problems simply because I've got enough problems without adding other people's! I guess it's a good thing I'm not at home as much anymore since my little old CourtTV channel has changed so much because I can't deal with soap operas and Oprah . . . .

All I Have to Say Is . . .

It was 96 degrees at 10:00 last night, with a heat index of 99 degrees. That pretty much tells you everything.

It's Just HOT

It's pretty much too hot to do anything around here. I spent Saturday doing laundry and when I looked at the thermostat in the afternoon, it read 77. The air ran almost all day and it didn't catch up until that night. Talk about miserable! Brian went out to the lake with a friend of his and he said it was too hot in the lake--that's pretty bad when it's too hot to go swimming!!! Clayton has ANOTHER doctor's appointment today in Little Rock. It seems like those things always come all at the same time. I'm not looking forward to going down there in this heat. We have to go again tomorrow to the GI doctor. Lovely plans for over 100 degree days . . . .

Happy Birthday Clayton!!!

Clayton is FOUR YEARS OLD today! We had a pool party last night for him. He loved it and if ever there was a day for a pool party, yesterday was it. IT WAS HOT!!! Almost everyone got in! I only took about ten pics so I'm uploading some a friend of ours took. He cried through the Happy Birthday song (just like last year!) and he really didn't want to try any cake, but at least he didn't gag this year. But by far, his favorite place to be was in the pool with his Granny. He didn't want to swim unless she was there, and didn't want to get out unless she was getting out!

Wheelchair Wreck!

My poor baby! While on our way into clinic yesterday I let go of his wheelchair for a split second only to see him roll off the ledge of the sidewalk and flip over onto the parking lot! It was horrible! He was under the wheelchair and had landed right on his head (as you can see from the picture). He looks even worse today because everything has scabbed over--I know everyone's thinking "what did you do to that poor child???!" I was just as traumatized as he was, if not more so. I cried, his O. T. cried, and Clayton cried! I even had them call the paramedics because all I could think was shunt malfunctions and siezures! By the time the paramedics left, he was smiling and saying hi to everyone, but it sure was a close call. Thank God he's okay!!! (And now we get to have cute little fourth birthday photos with battlescars--guess he really is becoming a little boy!)

We Surprised Them!!!

We rolled into the Scrapbook Warehouse and caught EVEYRONE off guard! Only three ScrapJazzers knew I was coming and that we were bringing Clayton to Dallas this weekend--I'm so glad we were able to keep it a secret--it was awesome to see the surprised looks and tears and smiles from everyone! I've never seen so many cameras flashing--I felt like I was with a celebrity! Clayton was more than a little overwhelmed, he was just sitting there staring at everyone. He did eventually start asking everyone for hugs since I was hugging everyone. He won everyone over immediately! He was a lot better when the crowd was small, I only wish everyone could have seen him relaxed enough to talk and carry on. I think I've already got Brian talked into next year in San Antonio and I can't wait. I loved this get together because we didn't have a bunch of classes dictating our schedule--we just cropped and visited. LOVED IT!