Milestone!

Clayton is in a major "repeat everything we say" stage, but we've never been able to get him to say I love you. Until last night! He repeated it twice for us while we were laying in bed. Brian and I showered him with kisses--it was music to our ears!!! He is the sweetest little boy we know. :)

Christmas Highlights II

Here are the rest from last weekend.

My dad:
The two youngest on my father's side:
My cousin's little girl:
My nephew:
My parents, working on their Christmas quiz:
The aftermath:
Bet you can't guess what my brother got for Christmas!

Christmas Highlights

Here are some pics I took over the past two days--I had several from last weekend to share as well, but of course I can't get blogger to cooperate. Maybe I'll get those uploaded tomorrow.

My dad and Clayton:
Clayton with his new hat:
Clayton showing off his new shirt:
Mom and Clayton:
Brian with his big bucks gift certificate:
My cousin's little girl helping Clayton open his gifts:
My cousin reading the Christmas story:
My cousins inspecting their "Dirty Santa" spoils:
And finally, me and Clayton Christmas night (we were pooped, but managed a good smile for the camera):

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Musician for Hire

Well, I think Clayton is ready to go on the road! Brian figured out how to get his guitar to stay on his walker and Clayton was a happy camper! He sat there and strummed forever, but his little legs were worn out from walking earlier, so he was tired of standing. I've never seen a child his age so obsessed with a muscial instrument. And he's gotten to where he can hold the pick and strum with one hand and put his left hand on the neck where it's supposed to be. He watches every move Brian makes with his guitar so that he can try it himself. He keeps great time--and since his legs don't work well right now, I really think he's a musician in the making. It's just too bad he doesn't like to hear me sing along with him!!!

Finally Got it Out

In the open that is:

Classy Scrapper Magazine

Busy Weekend

Friday night Brian and I went out to eat with some of our best friends and we had a great time just chillin' with each other. The highlight of the night was some good old Cold Stone Creamery ice cream. YUM, YUM. Clayton spent the night with my parents, so I had a much needed vacation from the wild nights that he usually has--I slept like a rock. It's almost like I go into a coma when he is not sleeping with me!

Yesterday we went to my GrandMother's for my dad's family's Christmas. It was hard to imagine it was Christmas considering we were all sweating and in short sleeves. Brian wanted to wear shorts, but I talked him out of it (SBR--wouldn't want the pics to look weird!). Clayton had so much fun--he even played a little bit of roller football in his wheelchair--I'm so glad he got to participate, and I think Brian lost a couple of pounds from running and pushing him around!

So we're back to our regularly scheduled lives for the next couple of days and then on to more Christmas celebrations next weekend. Looking forward to seeing the rest of my family.

Lighten' the Mood

I was tagged by Kelli last week and I'm just now getting around to taking care of it--maybe you'll learn something new about me!

A - Available or single: available to Brian
B - Best Friend: Brian
C - Cake or Pie: chocolate cake, chocolate pie--doesn't matter!
D - Drink of choice: Diet Coke
E - Essential Item you use everyday: deodorant
F - Favorite color: purple
G - Gummy Bears or worms: neither--can't stand the texture!
H - Hometown: somewhere in the middle of Arkansas
I- Indulgence: CHO-CO-LATE!
J - January or February: January--love the new start
K - Kids & Names: Clayton
L - Life is Incomplete Without? Family
M - Marriage Date: July 25
N - Number of Siblings: one brother
O - Oranges or Apples: apples
P - Phobias or Fears: mice, snakes, small spaces
Q - Fave Quote: Right now? Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go~Sam Ewing
R - Reason to Smile: Clayton
S - Season: fall
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: I'll come back to this one
U - Unknown Fact about Me: I'm secretly a reality TV junkie. (not proud of it, I know)
V- Vegetable You Don't Like: most of them!
W - Worst Habit: popping my knuckles
X - Xrays: what does this mean? yes, I guess, because Clayton gets them all the time!
Y - Your Fave Food: Chicken Chimichanga from Los Amigos
Z - Zodiac Sign: Gemini--I'M BIPOLAR!!

More on Teegan

I know some of you were wanting more information as I got it, so here is a message from Amy Stultz, Sarah's best friend:

I just got home a little while ago. This is has been the single mot difficult day of my life. I had no clue that your body could weep so much. There are not words in this world to describe the immense pain they are all in. I have known Sarah for 20 years and have never seen her like this. She is desperate. She is broken. It is truly horrific.

The preliminary autopsy results are in. Teegan passed from a very aggressive viral infection in her lungs. They told us that it most likely set in within 12 hours of her death. It was so massive that it eventually filled her poor little lungs with mucous and suffocated her. She passed due to a severe viral infection, the type of virus is still unknown at this time. Sarah and Grant were up with her at 3am and brought her into their bed. She snuggled into the middle and passed surrounded by the immense love and concern of her parents.

Please hug yur babies tonight. Like Sarah said, "I want my yesterdays back." Do not take a single moment for granted.

Yesterday I spent the day in shock. Last night, the sadness set in. Brian and I both just sat around the house with our mouths open from the shock and total confusion that we feel. And now today I simply want to sob. I have said this before and I'll say it again, I would not wish the pain of losing a child on my worst enemy. I still grieve for my loss and seeing others lose their child just opens my own wound wide open. I've learned to navigate around my pain and bitterness, and then something like this happens. I grieve for my friend. I grieve for myself. I grieve for all mothers and fathers who have to bury their child. And then I just want to scream "WHY???" It seems like so many people are losing their children! I read the obituaries and it seems like there are an abundance of child deaths. Please God, let it be clear when we get to Heaven. Please God, have an answer as to why my baby's body is buried under a bunch of dirt instead of sitting here in my lap, full of life. I am so thankful I have Clayton to focus on. He knows I am sad today and seems to sense I need his good sugars and lovin'. He's been blowing me kisses. Sweet baby. I'm scared to death of losing him. I just don't think I could bear it. I hope I don't give him a complex from hovering too much. He seems to be okay with it now, but as he gets older, I'm sure I'll here about how he needs his space! Maybe someday he will have his own children and he will know just how much I love him. There is no way I could ever have enough words to tell him just how great that love is.

Here is a picture of my friend Sarah with her children. Don't they just look beautiful?! Her boys doted on Teegan and I'm sure they will need your prayers just as much as Grant and Sarah.

In Memory of Teegan

When I checked my email this morning, I was not expecting the shocking message I received. This beautiful little girl is the daughter of Sarah O'Neal (writes the photography column for Classy Scrapper) and she did not wake up this morning--she died in her sleep. My heart is breaking for the O'Neals (pictured below). They have been through so much--you see, they have already buried one child. Their oldest son died three or four years ago in a car wreck. I simply cannot imagine the despair and heartache they are experiencing right now. If you can, please say a prayer for the O'Neals. Sarah has told me that their boys have really struggled with the death of their older brother and I am sure this is going to hit them even harder. I don't really know what else to say. Just pray for them.

Sleeping Baby

Okay, so he's not really a baby anymore, but he is my baby! And he is sound asleep at the moment. Mouth wide open kind of sleep. Why can't he sleep this good at night? His sleeping has never been right, but we do have some good nights. Haven't had one lately though! The last week has been horrible--I'm almost getting to where I'm dreading the night. I know in my head that he seriously needs another sleep study, but my heart hates to see him go through it. It was a nightmare last time and that was when he was little. I can't imagine what it would be like now with him being so aware of his surroundings and so much stronger. Maybe I'll get up the courage to mention it at his doctor's appointment tomorrow. I guess we'll just have to suck it up and suffer through it. Couldn't be much worse than some of these nights we have here at home. The goofy thing is he wakes up acting like he's had a good night's rest! It never seems to bother him, but me and Brian are dragging!

I Actually Shopped!

Brian had Friday afternoon off so we went Christmas shopping--this must be a record for me, because I usually wait until too late to do my gift shopping. I still have lots to do, but I at least have a head start this year. Now I'll just have to get busy on the wrapping!

Birthday Wishes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

I love you!

Deck the Halls!

I've spent the last two days decorating the house for Christmas, and I'm glad to say I'm finally done! So many of my decorations have special meaning, they are hand-me-downs or were gifts from friends. It's a walk down memory lane as I put them out.

So for those who aren't able to visit me during the holidays, here is a sneak peak of my home. (DISCLAIMER: I am not a photographer and these pics were taken during the day so you'll have to "imagine" the ambience of the season).


The top of the entertainment center:

The mantle (sure wish I had a Christmas painting to go with it):
The coffee table:
One of the end tables:
The tree (couldn't get a good pic to save my life!):

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, the Nativity:

Enjoy the holiday season and Merry Christmas everyone!

Chill in the Air

A LITTLE one, that is. By this weekend the lows will be in the twenties. Finally feeling like the holiday season. Lately I was thinking it was Easter time instead of Christmas time!

Is This Weird?

I really like Mondays! Call me crazy, but the weekends are really hard for me unless we have something specific planned. I look forward to the weekdays because Clayton has a definite schedule, which means I have a schedule. On the weekends, we are just loosey goosey--in limbo, with no specific order to life. Especially now that we've given up on church for the time being. Not only is Saturday bad, but Sunday too! Don't get me wrong, I have PLENTY to keep me busy, but I'm not too motivated these days. I'm really hoping the holidays will give me something new to focus on--I'm sure I can stay busy these next few weekends.

Today I am Thankful For . . .

*my family
*my home
*my warm coat (froze today in the car while everyone else was hot)
*an abundance of food in the cabinet--I am never truly hungry
*the ability and resources that God has provided in order for me to stay home with Clayton

Love/Hate Relationship with ACH

First let me say that I appreciate all of the hard work that the people at ACH do. There are many doctors there that I have come to trust and lean on when Clayton is sick. Overall, they do a wonderful job with him. And I admire them for working with so many sick children while still keeping such a great outlook on life. BUT . . . . . . . .

I'M SO FRUSTRATED WITH THESE PEOPLE!

I know that they deal with many parents who are less than involved in their child's care. I know that many parents don't have a clue what's going on and don't even bother to find out. BUT THAT IS NOT US. The older Clayton gets, the more frustrated I become with some of the staff and underlings at the hospital. They refuse to give us any credit for knowing what's best for Clayton and KNOWING OUR CHILD. Heck, I think some of them can't even believe we get to take him home at night!

{{{HERE IS THE SPOT WHERE I TYPED A LONG TIRADE ABOUT TODAY'S EVENTS AT THE HOSPTIAL AND ABOUT HOW PEOPLE DO NOT LISTEN TO ME, CLAYTON'S MOTHER, WHEN DECIDING HOW TO BEST CARE FOR HIM. BUT STUPID BLOGGER LOGGED ME OUT AND I LOST ALL OF MY UNSAVED RANTING, SO I GUESS IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE SHARED.}}}

Shout Out

Just have to give a shout out to my friend Kelli Johnson for being my listening ear today--thanks girlie!!! (((SMOOCHES)))

Kids' Class

I taught a class for kids at the scrapbook store Tuesday night. They got to make this little frame--the idea was for them to give it to their teacher for Christmas. I think some of them might even be giving them to their grandparents or parents. They had so much fun--they really let loose when I gave them a bunch of Christmas paper and stickers to make a card to go along with it. I told them to just go crazy on the card and they did! It's amazing how much kids love stickers!