New Roles

While I was pregnant, we got a small taste of the new roles we would each play in the new family. I was forced to let go of some of the control of Clayton's care and Brian and Clayton became best buds with all the time they were now spending together. (Not a bad thing, but I couldn't help but wince as he slowly started choosing Daddy over me). And now that Jackson is here, the roles are even more defined. For the most part, Momma takes care of Jackson while Daddy tends to Clayton. And Clayton is learning to "help" be a big brother and learning to share his Momma/Daddy time with Jackson.

The only thing I hated about having a c-section--I can't do ANYTHING with Clayton because almost every activity involves lifting him in some manner. Can't even change his diaper without help. I'm simply not used to being this dependent on others, even if those people are Clayton's own Dad and grandparents! I admit it: it's all bittersweet. Clayton really doesn't care much about spending time with Momma anymore (I think he's on strike since I'm with Jackson constantly!) and I can't even talk him into sitting in my lap. As a result, I'm having Clayton withdrawals! Having Jackson makes me love Clayton that much more and I so wish he would let me show him more these days, but he is mainly in to riding in Daddy's truck, going to Granny and Pop's, and spending time with my friend Rhonda. But on the other hand, I'm spending 95% of my time with our new little bundle of joy. I'm building a new close, cuddly relationship that can only happen between a mother and son. I suppose as they both grow the balancing act will become easier, but right now it seems so, so different from "the old days." I used to be consumed with Clayton's care in both thought and action. Nowadays, I have to just think and let someone else do the actions. Meanwhile, I get the privilege of spoiling this new, sweet baby God has blessed us with!!