Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
My dad and Clayton:
Clayton with his new hat:
Clayton showing off his new shirt:
Mom and Clayton:
Brian with his big bucks gift certificate:
My cousin's little girl helping Clayton open his gifts:
My cousin reading the Christmas story:
My cousins inspecting their "Dirty Santa" spoils:
And finally, me and Clayton Christmas night (we were pooped, but managed a good smile for the camera):
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
A - Available or single: available to Brian
B - Best Friend: Brian
C - Cake or Pie: chocolate cake, chocolate pie--doesn't matter!
D - Drink of choice: Diet Coke
E - Essential Item you use everyday: deodorant
F - Favorite color: purple
G - Gummy Bears or worms: neither--can't stand the texture!
H - Hometown: somewhere in the middle of Arkansas
I- Indulgence: CHO-CO-LATE!
J - January or February: January--love the new start
K - Kids & Names: Clayton
L - Life is Incomplete Without? Family
M - Marriage Date: July 25
N - Number of Siblings: one brother
O - Oranges or Apples: apples
P - Phobias or Fears: mice, snakes, small spaces
Q - Fave Quote: Right now? Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go~Sam Ewing
R - Reason to Smile: Clayton
S - Season: fall
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: I'll come back to this one
U - Unknown Fact about Me: I'm secretly a reality TV junkie. (not proud of it, I know)
V- Vegetable You Don't Like: most of them!
W - Worst Habit: popping my knuckles
X - Xrays: what does this mean? yes, I guess, because Clayton gets them all the time!
Y - Your Fave Food: Chicken Chimichanga from Los Amigos
Z - Zodiac Sign: Gemini--I'M BIPOLAR!!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I just got home a little while ago. This is has been the single mot difficult day of my life. I had no clue that your body could weep so much. There are not words in this world to describe the immense pain they are all in. I have known Sarah for 20 years and have never seen her like this. She is desperate. She is broken. It is truly horrific.
The preliminary autopsy results are in. Teegan passed from a very aggressive viral infection in her lungs. They told us that it most likely set in within 12 hours of her death. It was so massive that it eventually filled her poor little lungs with mucous and suffocated her. She passed due to a severe viral infection, the type of virus is still unknown at this time. Sarah and Grant were up with her at 3am and brought her into their bed. She snuggled into the middle and passed surrounded by the immense love and concern of her parents.
Please hug yur babies tonight. Like Sarah said, "I want my yesterdays back." Do not take a single moment for granted.
Yesterday I spent the day in shock. Last night, the sadness set in. Brian and I both just sat around the house with our mouths open from the shock and total confusion that we feel. And now today I simply want to sob. I have said this before and I'll say it again, I would not wish the pain of losing a child on my worst enemy. I still grieve for my loss and seeing others lose their child just opens my own wound wide open. I've learned to navigate around my pain and bitterness, and then something like this happens. I grieve for my friend. I grieve for myself. I grieve for all mothers and fathers who have to bury their child. And then I just want to scream "WHY???" It seems like so many people are losing their children! I read the obituaries and it seems like there are an abundance of child deaths. Please God, let it be clear when we get to Heaven. Please God, have an answer as to why my baby's body is buried under a bunch of dirt instead of sitting here in my lap, full of life. I am so thankful I have Clayton to focus on. He knows I am sad today and seems to sense I need his good sugars and lovin'. He's been blowing me kisses. Sweet baby. I'm scared to death of losing him. I just don't think I could bear it. I hope I don't give him a complex from hovering too much. He seems to be okay with it now, but as he gets older, I'm sure I'll here about how he needs his space! Maybe someday he will have his own children and he will know just how much I love him. There is no way I could ever have enough words to tell him just how great that love is.
Here is a picture of my friend Sarah with her children. Don't they just look beautiful?! Her boys doted on Teegan and I'm sure they will need your prayers just as much as Grant and Sarah.